Ways to show self-love is crucial for our own mental health. The way we see ourselves and how we love ourselves show people a lot about how we think of ourselves. And it’s usually not the love we show others.
From my own experience, I can pour out all of what I have for others, but only give myself the breadcrumbs left over. Do you ever feel this way?
We will do for others, what we won’t do for ourselves. Right?
What we are giving to other people is what we deserve to give ourselves, but we don’t because for some reason we feel we don’t deserve it.
In my own life, when I began “Shadow Work” introduced by Swiss Psychiatrist, Carl Jung, in recent years after my mother died, I began to heal the imperfections I thought that were hidden from the world, but they weren’t. Other people in my life could see them and accept them, I couldn’t. My hurts went too deep but were seen on the surface especially to those who knew me best. But I refused to include those hurts in my life, to me, they only made me feel just more inadequate.
But once I made the decision to heal myself and live a life, I knew I could, I welcomed all my flaws and imperfections. I’m still on a long journey, but I am doing the work.
I embrace the sweet and salty! And do the inner work every day.
We don’t always treat ourselves well. You know this to be true yourself. So, why are we late to our own hair appointment, but on time for a family dinner? Why do we prepare a fabulous meal for others, and prepare only a sandwich for ourselves? Or buy someone that special gift they’ve always wanted, but never buy the special gift we’ve always wanted?
No one can answer this question, but you. On my way of loving me better, here are some self-love techniques that have been helpful to me.
Self-Love Recordings
You know those affirmational quotes you read to yourself. Try recording them in your voice and listen to them. It doesn’t matter whether you like your recorded voice or not, these are your favorite quotes coming to life in a different way. It will surprise you how you feel after hearing yourself share those words to yourself. Record five to ten and listen to them at different times of the day. Especially, listen to one before you go to bed.
Self-Love Letter
Write a self-love letter about what really makes you, who you are. Dig deep and share all the things that are so special about you. I can give you one. “There is no one who has your DNA, you are truly one-of-a-kind”.
We have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. I know I do and have. It hasn’t served me well. What about you? Keeping your eyes on YOU, is really more important than, comparing ourselves to others.
If you want what someone else has, that’s ok…. but do it your way. The experience will not be the same, because you are different. Having a slice of someone else’s pie, is only a slice. Create a WHOLE pie for yourself.
Self-Love Journal Prompts
Yes, journal. but with intention. For example, ask yourself….
- What empowers me?
- Am I leveling up or just settling?
- What superpower do I own? (we all have them, maybe yours is your listening skills)
- How can I gain more wisdom like the “Wizard of Oz” and limit my “Cowardly Lion” behavior?
- What emotions do I feel when I think about??? (Identity them)
- How can I embrace the changes I made, for the better? (regrets, hold you back…acceptance leads you forward)
Self Acceptance
Take a deep breath in, and a big exhale out. Know you are enough just by being who you are. Mistakes happen, we make them. We break promises, we hurt people we love, we disappoint, we anger others. Yes, we do all of this. But it doesn’t mean we’re not lovable. We are not a society of non-emotional people. Showing self-love is showing yourself, just how important you really are.
For some of us, we feel everything. For others, they try to feel nothing because of what damage they think they have done. We are not perfect, how many times have you told yourself this, and how many times have you still not forgiven yourself. Forgive and heal your hurt.
Hurt people, hurt people. Stop hurting yourself. Start to live from the inside out.
We all deserve love because we are human beings with feelings. That’s it, that simple. You are enough. You don’t have to prove anything. Nothing. Your existence is enough.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
― C.G. Jung
Final Thoughts
Ways to show self- love, is not hard, but emotionally it can be. If there is fear of vulnerability, just know that through vulnerability, you can find the strength for self-love and acceptance. Put yourself on this journey when you are ready.
If you have unrealistic expectations of what your life is supposed to look like, accept the present as is. Build what you want your life to look like. Create your own playbook.
Address your past hurts, make amends to heal yourself, you’re the only one who can. If you need to talk with someone, make that commitment to yourself. You are definitely worth it.
Be aware of your own needs, not others. Write them down and make a plan. Think for yourself, be the leader of your life, not the follower. Live by the script you write for your life, not the script written by someone else.
Put the work in, you are worth it.
And just in case you haven’t heard today how special you, appreciated, and loved just by being you. I just told you, with open arms and an open heart.
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We’ll chat soon,
