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Have you ever been told “you’re too sensitive” or you take things to personal. These are traits of highly sensitive people. How about, maybe you just knew something was going to happen, but you didn’t know how or why? And is your empathy towards others over the top? Traits of the highly sensitive person.
One night, I was obsessed with a certain situation, my emotions were in overdrive, and I was exhausted from it.
I couldn’t stop thinking about why this was such a big deal, when it really wasn’t. I had done this my entire life. Fixating on trivial things, that took up all my energy and my mind space.
So, I got on my computer and began researching what I was feeling, and why I always felt this way.
My online research lasted over 2 hours and led me to “highly sensitive people”. And I wanted to know more.
I came across this book, written by Mel Collins, “The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People. How to transform feeling overwhelmed and frazzled to empowered and fulfilled.” And I bought it. And I read it.
And it changed my life.
My life as a highly sensitive person (HSP)
As a highly sensitive person myself, I find at times difficulty living in my own skin. It’s overwhelming.
When I was a child, I used to tell my mother, I just didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. It broke her heart when I would say it, because I knew I had a loving family, I just felt like I didn’t belong. I felt different.
At the same time, when the phone would ring, I would walk past it, and say, “grandma is calling you better get that.” I had a sense it was her, all the time.
As a HSP through many trials and troubles in my life, I consider it a gift.
I can read a room and its emotions before speaking to anyone. I am right there with you feeling every emotion you have in a conversation. My empathy is always in overdrive, and I will fight for the underdog, every time.
I meet people where they are in life, without judgement, but with empathy. I am always curious about people and making lasting and meaningful connections are important to HSP’s.
I’m curious about the why? Any why really, I want to have that deep connection and the value that comes with its understanding.
Let’s face it, most people are not deep creatures, it’s not their fault, it’s just they don’t feel as deeply as a HSP does and besides, without HSP’s, there would be less empathy in the world, less curiosity, less intuitiveness, less understanding and uniqueness, but most importantly, less love and compassion.
But it comes at a cost. A heavy emotional and mental cost to an HSP.
This is only part of the traits of an HSP, let’s explore further.
HSP in the workplace
What I have learned in my many years of working corporate jobs, my sensitivity was not seen as a strength, but as a weakness.
I don’t know about you, but every single manager I had in my career, told me I either took things too personal, or I was too sensitive.
Knowing how my managers felt, most of the time I would overcompensate with working more hours, volunteer to take on more responsibilities, mask my own personality and would continue to feel Iike I didn’t belong, undervalued and misunderstood. I felt I was never enough.
But after the death of my mother, I began to really analyze my life and how I fit into the world.
When leaving my last corporate job, I shared with my manager why I was resigning, I shared I didn’t feel valued in my work. She said to me I was making an emotional decision, and not everyone is independently wealthy.
As an HSP, I felt less valued as a person, but felt sorry for her, because she lacked the knowledge of realizing, employees want to feel valued in their job and it’s just not an emotional thing.
Most highly sensitive people at work are over-achievers or at least try to be, and have a strong sense of personal responsibility, and want to make a significant contribution and difference. We can be the people pleasers.
But when an HSP no longer feels value, they may move on to another job or stay in a miserable one, in hopes things will be different. They will probably continue to mask their personality.
Understanding an HSP
Most HSP’s will have many challenges in their lives, however, they are resilient and strong people.
Their emotions like I mentioned come at a cost, with their heightened empathy, the need to feel deeply about life and to make a difference. They can struggle with esteem issues, struggle with a sense of belonging, have relationship struggles, and just feel different in every aspect of life.
But it’s through the challenge, an HSP will prevail.
I am speaking from personal experience and I am sure if you already know you are an HSP, what I am saying you can resonate with.
To understand an HSP, comes years of patience, because they are trying to figure it out too. They are genuine people, with a heart to do good in all things. But we do slip up.
Top 10 traits of a highly sensitive person
When I decided to write this post, I could only speak about my own experiences.
However, after reading through the book, I began to actually feel normal and understood.
These traits are true in my own life, and I hope they are helpful to you in understanding yourself and the HSP in your life.
- Heightened Senses: HSPs often have an increased sensitivity to external stimuli such as bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells. They may prefer quiet environments and feel overwhelmed in crowded or chaotic settings. But we all are not quiet and shy. We can overcompensate and adapt.
- Deep Emotions: HSPs experience emotions deeply and may be more affected by both positive and negative experiences. They might cry easily, feel deeply moved by art or music, and have strong empathetic responses to others’ emotions. Don’t write us off as weak, we are very strong.
- Overstimulation: Due to their heightened sensitivity, HSPs can become easily overwhelmed by too much sensory input or social stimulation. They may need regular breaks or alone time to recharge and process their experiences. We love you, but we have to renew our energy. Respect our time for space.
- Empathy and Compassion: HSPs tend to be highly empathetic and compassionate individuals. They often have a strong desire to help others and can intuitively sense the emotions and needs of those around them. We will meet you where you are in life, and cry and laugh with you.
- Attention to Detail: HSPs are often detail-oriented and observant, noticing subtleties that others may overlook. They may excel in tasks that require careful attention and thorough analysis. We can be OCD and perfectionists. We are great investigators.
- Deep Reflectors: HSPs engage in deep, reflective thought processes and may spend a lot of time analyzing their own thoughts and feelings. They may also be drawn to creative pursuits such as writing, art, or music as a means of self-expression. We love to be able to engage in self-expression.
- Strong Intuition: HSPs often possess a strong inner guidance or intuition that helps them navigate life’s complexities. They may rely on gut feelings and instinctive reactions when making decisions or evaluating situations. 99% of the time, we know what you will say next.
- Avoidance of Conflict: HSPs tend to be conflict-averse and may feel distressed by interpersonal tension or confrontation. They prefer harmony and cooperation and may go to great lengths to avoid conflict or resolve disputes amicably. We don’t like it, but we can fight like the rest.
- Deep Relationships: HSPs value deep, meaningful connections in their relationships and may prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to social interactions. They may have a small circle of close friends whom they trust deeply. Our connections are very important to us.
- Creativity and Imagination: Many HSPs possess a rich inner world filled with creativity, imagination, and a love of beauty. They may be drawn to artistic pursuits or find inspiration in nature, literature, or the arts. We love the unique beauty of life.
Final thoughts and words of encouragement
Being highly sensitive is not a flaw or a weakness; it’s a unique aspect of who you are a gift that enriches your life and the lives of those around you. Although not everyone will understand you, what more important is you understanding yourself.
It takes courage to embrace your sensitivity fully and to understand it. But in doing so, you open yourself up to a world of profound experiences, deep connections, and endless possibilities for personal growth.
Remember that sensitivity is not a limitation; it’s a superpower. Your heightened awareness and empathy enable you to see the world through a more colorful lens, to appreciate the beauty in the smallest details, to feel the depths of human emotion, and to connect with others on a level that few can. An appreciation for humanity.
It’s okay to take breaks when you need them, to set boundaries that honor your sensitivity, and to prioritize self-care and self-compassion along the way. Surround yourself with people who understand and appreciate your sensitivity, who lift you up and encourage you to shine your brightest.
And always remember that you are not alone. There is an entire community of highly sensitive people out there, each navigating their own unique path in this world. Reach out, connect, and support one another as you continue on your journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
So, to all the highly sensitive souls reading this, I leave you with these words of encouragement: Cherish your sensitivity, feel no shame in who you are. Celebrate it. Let it guide you on your journey towards authenticity, fulfillment, and joy.
You are enough, just as you are, and your sensitivity is a beautiful gift that the world desperately needs.
The world is a better place because of HSP’s like us.
We’ll talk soon,
