Are you a person who gives up easily on learning hard things? Then you tell yourself, “I’m just not any good at this.” Did you know your brain, computed, words like… can’t, inadequate, uneducated and many more. This negative self-talk is not doing you any favors, trust me and could be driving your anxiety.
Just like a flower you water it, you water and nurture it so it will grow, stay beautiful and enjoy it, right? Well, don’t you want this for yourself? Don’t you want to nurture your growth personally and professionally?
Personally speaking, you can’t wait for someone to excite your ego, you have to excite your ego.
You must earn it, and the best way to start, is by eliminating negative self-talk.
Hey, I get it, we learn this habit at an early age, it’s just a self-deprecating technique we use to ease our own disappointments.
Continuing the habit of negative self-talk, can become detrimental to our personal and professional growth. It stunts our growth actually, and stomps all over our mental health. And I know you don’t want that, do you?
So, your question maybe, how can you stop the negative self-talk? It’s like with any habit, you have to find the right method for you.
I can say these 5 techniques have helped me find a different and more satisfying way of talking to myself and propelled my self-confidence.
Negative self-talk drives anxiety, it wants you to stay low, when you know you want to go high! So, let’s do it!
1. Rewrite your inner story
First and foremost, rewrite, I mean literally get out a pen and piece of paper and begin rewriting your entire inner story. Write about how you want your future to look, what things you want to accomplish, places you want to go. Soley focus on the positive things that you want to happen in your life.
Negative self-talk will sabotage your thoughts, but you have to start somewhere, and besides if you just sit and do nothing, your anxiety is going to go through your throat, so act! Your life is waiting for you to make a move.
2. Personify your inner critic
Give your negative self-critic a name, and when they want to have a conversation with you, don’t engage in the conversation.
You are just going to have to say, not today Louise (my self- critic), I’m on a higher mission, I’ve got things to accomplish today, and in your positive voice name those accomplishments you want complete.
I have to dismiss Louise at least 10 times a day. But it works.
Recognizing when they want to have a negative conversation with you, makes it so much easier for you to detach from this distraction.
3. Positive affirmation artwork
Words are so powerful, and you want to surround yourself with not only positive people, but also positive artwork too.
At home surround yourself with positive affirmations that you can look at as you come around the corner.
Display it prominently in your living space as a daily reminder to counteract negative thoughts with positive ones.
Affirmations are very personal, so use what resonates with you.
4. The “Would I Say This to a Friend?” Test
You should be your own best friend, right? I am sure you wouldn’t say some of the things you say to yourself to your best friend, would you?
When negative thoughts arise, just ask yourself if you would say those things to a friend in a similar situation.
It’s true, often, we are much harsher on ourselves than we would ever be on our friends.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend, challenge your negative self-talk by adopting a more supportive and understanding inner dialogue.
5. Color code your thoughts
When we wear certain colors, they spark a certain mood. It’s time to color code your thoughts.
Assign a color to different types of thoughts positive, negative, and neutral. Whenever you catch yourself in negative self-talk, visualize that thought in a specific color. Your mood is going to reflect the color anyway, so visualize it and recognize it.
Look around you, pay attention to what people are wearing, it says a lot about mood and personality.
Over time, it becomes a lighthearted way to train your mind towards a more optimistic mindset.
Final thoughts and words of encouragement
No matter where you are in life, you can always improve your mindset. It’s just a mindset, it’s temporary. Let me tell you, people are going to let you down, they will disappoint you, that job you wanted and didn’t get, it’s going to happen. All kinds of things will happen, its the journey of life.
But you don’t have to beat yourself up in the process and destroy your self-worth and value.
When my mother died, I didn’t think I would ever feel as much joy in my life as I do now. It was a process, and most days I feel fantastic, but not every day is going to be a good one, it’s just life.
But beating myself up with all the “what if’s” well was exhausting.
We all bring many different perspectives and talents to this world, and you can’t live your full potential if you are consumed with negativity, they just don’t go hand in hand.
Waiting for others, just may never come.
Be your own best friend, be your own champion for the things you want in life, besides sometimes you’re all you’ve got!
So go out and fight that fight and start living the life you know you are designed to live.
We’ll chat soon,
