The simplicity of how work should be
Work to me, is the step ladder to our professional lives. People define work in many different ways, however, work is only “what we do, it’s not who we are.” These five professional truths about work I wished I had learned sooner in my career would have been helpful and I want to pass them along to you.
Work, beyond being a financial tool, has the transformative power to shape and enrich our lives. Engaging in meaningful work can provide a sense of purpose, fostering personal growth and professional development for a lifetime, really.
Beyond the paycheck, work can be a source of fulfillment, a platform for innovation, and a channel for contributing to something greater than ourselves.
This sounds beautiful and for some of us this rings true, for some it doesn’t. The challenge is not so much the work or the people, it’s personalities and learning how to navigate the complexity of each one we encounter.
Growing up my dad used to say to me, “you will meet the same person over and over again, only they will have different faces and personalities, learn their personality first,” this has stuck with me my entire life.
I am always fascinated by what makes people do what they do. How did they learn that skill? People fascinate me, and at the same time, infuriate me. I’m sure you can relate.
In my professional career these five truths I wish I had learned at an earlier age, and I want to impart this wisdom on to you.
If you are reading this and you are in your 20’s, 30’s or even in your early 40’s, take heed and listen and reflect on what I’m sharing about these hard truths.
Work to me is wonderful and fulfilling, until it isn’t.
Your co-worker is not your friend
I love connecting with people, it’s part of my nature. I want to learn as much as I can about someone. People are learning tools for me, and I love learning. But not everyone has the same interest or intention when they meet you or anyone for that matter. Let’s face it, we all have a hidden agenda, you may say you don’t, but you do.
Sometimes we can be too trusting, when we first start a job, we’re pretty quiet until we’ve learned more about the daily tasks and our work environment. After, a time we then begin to build connections. This is where it gets challenging. It’s not so much the people remember, it’s the personality we are meeting.
Think about it…. what is the real reason you were hired at your company? Answer: To do a job and get paid for it. You are not there to make friends. Although you are there to be a team player, but you are not hired to “make friends”. Be selective in the connections you make.
From my own experience, the person who asks you the most questions, is questionable. Be selective. Once someone figures you out, well you have lost your anonymity. I speak truth through experience. Being nice is not a requirement. Chatting up everyone is not a requirement either.
Your co-worker is simply someone you work with, not someone you tell your secrets too. Leave your personal life separate from your work. Until…. someone has really gained your trust and has invested a substantial amount of time getting to know you.
Not all co-workers are created equal.
Your manager doesn’t care about your mental health issues until it affects them
Radical acceptance is needed for you to understand this one.
Look I know life doesn’t stop for us whether we are at work or at home. However, if we are getting paid to do a job and we can’t do that job, it will become an issue. We are paid to do a job.
Your manager hired you because you were qualified to do the job and your personality is a great fit for their workplace. It’s really that simple. Bringing attention to your manager life’s current challenges, is a slippery slope.
I’m not saying not to share with your manager a particular situation that may lead to necessary time off, but I am saying they don’t care if you have menstrual cramps, they don’t care if you have a hangover, they don’t care if you had an argument with your parents or boyfriend, they don’t care if you can’t multi task….until… it impedes you doing your job, then they really care.
It’s your manager’s responsibility to make sure all direct reports can do the job. If you are constantly challenging the work environment, or anything like it, then you will have a target on your back.
And please keep your work situation off of social media. HR is watching. Be mindful of connections your make on LinkedIn and or any other social media platforms.
Dumb it down a little for your manager
Not all managers are one size fits all. Simply put, don’t show how smart you are to your manager. Always let your manager shine. Dumbing things down has always been a challenge for me, and still to this day it’s a challenge. I thought it was important to share with my manager all the things you know to help the company grow. Well, maybe to your 7th grade teacher, not your manager.
Your manager got the top job because of what they know, they don’t want you taking their place anytime soon. Now, not all managers are this way. Speaking only from my experience, I only had one in my career that was willing to help mentor me. The others, not so much.
I appreciate a manager who understands their people and wants to help them grow. It’s a true compliment to a leader to have one of its direct reports reach their highest potential. To a manager…. its intimidating.
Your manager might feel intimidated by your talents. This dynamic can arise when your skills and abilities are perceived as a strong asset, potentially challenging the traditional hierarchy or causing a shift in power dynamics.
In other words, your manager is insecure and feels threatened by you. This one is very important so here are some concrete examples:
- Threat to Authority: Exceptional talents can sometimes be perceived as a threat to a manager’s authority or leadership position. Your proficiency might inadvertently highlight areas where the manager feels less competent, triggering a sense of insecurity.
- Fear of Competition: Managers may fear that your skills could position you as a contender for higher roles or responsibilities, creating internal competition. This fear can stem from concerns about job security or losing their own standing within the organization.
- Insecurity and Comparison: If your talents outshine those of your manager, it might evoke feelings of inadequacy or comparison. This can lead to an uneasy relationship, as your manager grapples with their own self-esteem in the professional context.
- Change in Dynamics: A highly talented team member can shift the dynamics within a team, potentially altering the traditional manager-subordinate relationship. This change might be unsettling for a manager who is accustomed to a certain level of control.
You must navigate this with a delicate balance of integrity and maturity.
Stop oversharing at work
What’s important to you, honestly is not that important to others. Believe it or not, there are people who want to see you fail. It’s a sad fact, but it’s true. Oversharing and gossiping at work is the kiss of death. Only share what is relevant to work or the conversation. You don’t have to continue to go on and on with your opinions, some care most don’t.
I love connecting and sharing my experiences with others. I am hoping to teach someone something. But I had to learn the hard way, that not all people want to know you or learn what you know. Hard fact, but true.
My son helped me with this one, he said, “not everyone gets the right or privilege in getting to know you, this is earned.” he’s right.
There are many drawbacks to oversharing personally and even professionally at work. Examples could be overstepping your professional boundaries, forming negative perceptions and judgments about you at work, loss in productivity, when you’re always talking work is not getting done.
Oversharing can lead to being overlooked for a promotion. In some cases, oversharing about personal struggles or dissatisfaction with the current job might be perceived negatively by management. This could potentially impact opportunities for career advancement or raises.
Strike a balance between talking and responding. It’s better to respond to a question rather than, giving your opinion out the gate, although you may mean no harm to anyone, it may not be genuinely perceived this way.
Good intentions can lead to challenges, so just keep doing a fabulous job and don’t get “deep in the weeds” at work. It’s not worth it at all.
Don’t wait to leave a dead-end job when you know it’s time to go
Sometimes we take a job just hoping it’s the one and it turns out to be the absolute worst. Yep, been there too many times to count.
I always try to put my best foot forward and challenge myself to be the best. But there are times when you have to let it go.
It doesn’t mean you failed; it just means the job is not the right fit for you. This happens all the time. Most of the time, it’s more the style of the manager than anything. If you can salvage the feelings and have an open mature conversation with your manager, then I encourage you. But if you see within week things are not working out after your discussion, start looking.
Don’t spend years dreading Monday mornings with the Sunday night twinge. Believe me, life is too short to stay at a company that is still wearing it’s training pants. You want to work for a mature group of professionals. Be mindful of this fact as your career progresses.
Some jobs are meant to be temporary, a steppingstone to where you are supposed to end up. Learn to know the difference and don’t beat yourself up for taking that dead-end job. Move forward.
Final Thoughts
I believe being brutally honest with you, is important to your future success. I only wish I had known these truths earlier in my career. All I ever wanted was to find that happy place I could go to everyday, make friends, connect, get promoted, have an understanding manager, and retire a happy woman. My career isn’t over, I’ve just revamped it into what it should be.
What do you want?
Now that we’ve unveiled these hard-hitting truths, it’s time for action. Take a moment to reflect on your own experiences in the workplace. Which of these truths resonates with you the most? How can you apply this newfound knowledge to empower your career journey?
As you reflect through these truths, ask yourself: Are your current professional relationships aligned with your goals? Are you guarding your personal and professional aspirations wisely? How can you prioritize your mental health while excelling in your job?
Reflect on the personalities around you and consider how they weave through your career; can they elevate your success.
And remember, if you find yourself stuck in a job that doesn’t bring you joy, it might be time to reassess your path.
We’ll chat soon,
